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Healing Through Forgiveness: Five Ways To Find Peace During the Grieving Process

Nov 9, 2023

Grief is an intricate and deeply personal journey—one that does not follow a linear path. Navigating this emotional landscape becomes even more challenging when the person we're mourning has caused us pain. “While it might seem counterintuitive, embracing forgiveness amid grief can offer profound benefits in healing and finding peace,” said Brandy Brown-Weikel MSW, clinical social worker at Inspira Health. “The act of forgiveness can be a powerful tool for processing our pain and moving towards a place of acceptance.”

Here are five ways forgiveness can aid us in the grieving process when the person we mourn has also been a source of pain.

1. Regaining emotional control

“Grief often comes with a myriad of emotions, like anger, confusion, sadness and even resentment. When the person we mourn has been a source of hurt, these feelings can become more tangled and complex,” said Brown-Weikel. However, choosing forgiveness does not erase the pain or condone the actions that led to it; rather, it allows us to release feelings of negativity that can hinder our healing. By forgiving, we reclaim control over our emotions, focusing on our own well-being rather than letting anger define us.

2. Shifting our perspective

Forgiveness encourages us to see the departed individual in a new light—as a flawed human being, much like ourselves. This shift in perspective humanizes them, making it easier to let go of unrealistic expectations and the accompanying disappointment. By recognizing their imperfections, we pave the way for a more compassionate understanding of their actions and impact on our lives.

3. Healing fractured relationships

Forgiveness has a unique power to mend relationships, even in the absence of the person. When we release resentment, we create space for inner reconciliation. This closure isn't reliant on external factors; it's a form of resolution that provides comfort and healing.

4. Prioritizing self-care

Forgiveness is an act of self-care. It allows us to break free from the cycle of pain and bitterness that can trap us in grief. By forgiving, we honor our emotions without letting them dictate our healing journey. This process empowers us to prioritize our well-being and release the hold of negativity.

5. Opening up to acceptance

Forgiveness opens doors to acceptance. “When we forgive, we acknowledge the past without letting it define us,” said Brown-Weikel. “This acknowledgment leads to a healthier form of acceptance, where we can remember the person and their actions without letting them continue to harm us emotionally.”

Ultimately, forgiveness is not about excusing hurtful actions; it’s about freeing ourselves from the burdens of resentment, allowing us to honor our pain while opening up space for healing and growth. By granting ourselves permission to forgive, we regain control over our emotional well-being, shift our perspective and hopefully find a form of closure that brings solace.

Inspira Health’s behavioral and mental health services provide a safe and compassionate environment to explore your emotions and work through loss and grief. To make an appointment, call 1-800-INSPIRA or request an appointment online.

Inspira Health is a high reliability organization (HRO), which means safety is the top priority for patients and staff. To make an appointment, call 1-800-INSPIRA.

Topics: Behavioral Health