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Keep the Change, Ya Filthy Animal! Holiday Movie Characters Who Should Have Seen a Doctor

Dec 6, 2022

Every year during the holiday season, families across the country cozy up on the couch to watch Kevin McCallister mercilessly torture the Wet Bandits in Home Alone. But have you ever considered the actual injuries Harry and Marv would have sustained from Kevin’s antics? 

Here are some of the most injury-prone holiday movie characters whose sufferings would warrant a trip to the emergency room (ER) or urgent care in the real world. 

Buddy the Elf


In Elf, Will Ferrell’s character Buddy sustains several injuries, including a raccoon attack and getting hit by a taxi. If you’ve been attacked or bitten by a raccoon, it can cause rabies, a deadly virus spread from the saliva of infected animals. Disinfect your wounds by washing them with soap and water and go straight to the ER.

Getting hit by a taxi can cause several serious injuries, including fractures, spinal injuries, concussions, bruising and lacerations. The ER is the best place for receiving care for life-threatening injuries after a car accident. If your injuries are less severe, you should still get medically cleared at an urgent care center as soon as possible.  

Clark Griswold


If you’ve seen National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, then you know Clark Griswold’s clumsiness should have sent him to the hospital. After launching his family over a snowbank while driving to a tree farm, there’s no chance they’d walk away unscathed. If you find yourself in a similar predicament, visit the ER right away. 

Attempting to break a saucer sled speed record also comes at a price. In the real world, crashing through several snow drifts and into the side of a cabin would almost certainly cause significant trauma to the neck and spine—and definitely warrant a trip to the ER. 

John McClane


Yes, Die Hard is a Christmas movie, and our hero John McClane suffers multiple injuries as he fends off a group of terrorists holding him hostage. Falling backward down a flight of stairs can result in bruised or broken ribs, and being forced to walk over broken glass with bare feet would cause excruciating pain and multiple lacerations. After getting beat up, shot in the shoulder, smashing through windows and jumping off roofs, there’s no way McClane would be able to avoid a trip to the ER.

The Wet Bandits


This list wouldn’t be complete without Home Alone’s infamous duo, whose biggest mistake was deciding to rob the McCallister house. Their misfortunes include falling down multiple flights of stairs, stepping on glass, getting hit in the face with an iron, BB gun injuries, stepping on rusty nails, and even a flamethrower encounter. In the real world, these characters would need immediate emergency care after just one of these unfortunate events. 

All joking aside, unexpected injuries can be serious and sometimes life-threatening. Seeking immediate treatment at an urgent care center or the ER can help ensure you avoid long-term complications and are on the path to a smooth recovery.  

Inspira Health is a high reliability organization (HRO), which means safety is the top priority for patients and staff. To make an appointment, call 1-800-INSPIRA.

Topics: Urgent Care